Changing Perspectives Read online

  Back of the Book

  Art director, Dani Barker, lives life on the edge and getting into a fight in a lesbian leather bar on a Friday night isn't an unusual occurrence.

  Camila Callaghan, finance director for a large company, feels satisfied with her life in most respects. She enjoys her job and thinks it's necessary to stay in the closet to maintain the position she's worked hard to achieve.

  When Dani and Camila meet, they both sense an attraction, but is it merely curiosity with each other's contrasting lives? Dani hopes that Camila can be the partner she has longed for since her earliest forays into SM. The boundaries of Camila's settled world start to blur as she questions her own feelings for Dani and what she represents.

  Will their differences make a long-term relationship achievable? A change of perspective for both women is needed if they are to reach this goal.

  Changing Perspectives

  Copyright © 2017 by Jen Silver

  Smashwords Edition

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN:

  978-0-947528-76-8

  First Edition

  PDF, ePub, mobi

  Published: November 1, 2017

  This book is Published by

  Affinity eBook Press NZ LTD

  Canterbury, New Zealand

  E-mail: [email protected]

  Editor: JoSelle Vanderhooft

  Proof Editor: Alexis Smith

  Cover Design by Irish Dragon Designs

  * * *

  This work is copyrighted and is licensed only for use by the original purchaser and can be copied to the original purchaser's electronic device and its memory card for your personal use. Modifying or making copies of this work or distributing it to any unauthorized person by any means, without limit, including by email, CD, DVD, memory cards, file transfer, paper printout or any other method, constitutes a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines or imprisonment. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions.

  * * *

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Acknowledgements

  I have been asked, as writers often are, where do you get your ideas? For this story I could answer, the supermarket. I was walking down the BDSM aisle when this idea fell off a shelf into my basket.

  The real answer is more complicated. Working in London in the late 1980s/early 1990s, I came into contact with a great mix of people and, particularly relevant to this story, advertising agency creatives and business executives from large corporations. Seeing a woman dressed completely in leather walking down the street sparked the idea. Who was she? Where did she work? Was she into SM? (Plain SM in those days; the BD was added later.) Miss Whiplash had featured in the news during that time, so this was clearly in my mind.

  I started writing the story in 1993, and when I revisited it a few years ago and thought about how to expand it into a novel length, I decided that 1993 was where it should stay. It’s very much of its time. The Internet was in its infancy, not everyone had mobile phones, and social media had yet to be invented.

  This is my seventh novel published by Affinity Rainbow Publications. Although Changing Perspectives is very different to the previous six books, I am once again thankful to the Affinity team, especially their beta readers who responded so positively to the story.

  Dedication

  To my characters, Dani and Camila.

  May they continue to enjoy their “hopeful ever after”.

  Also by Jen Silver

  Single Stories:

  Running From Love

  Christmas at Winterbourne

  The Circle Dance

  Starling Hill Trilogy:

  Starting Over

  Arc Over Time

  Carved in Stone

  Short Stories:

  There Was a Time

  The Christmas Sweepstake (Affinity’s 2014 Christmas Collection)

  Beltane in Space (It’s in Her Kiss—Affinity Charity Anthology)

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Other Books from Affinity

  Chapter One

  London, 1993

  The bar was noisy, hot, overcrowded, and smoky. Dani stood by the door; she had found a niche where she could observe the room and the comings and goings, without getting her drink jostled out of her grasp. It was a typical Friday night crowd for this particular bar. Not one of her favourite places, but Penny had convinced her she should get out a bit. And where was Penny now? She had accompanied Dani here and then said she had to go home. Well, why not? She had someone to go home to, even if it was that stuck-up cow, Astrid.

  They had been working late to finalise the wording on the print media ads for the all-important Redmond pitch on Monday. Dani appreciated Penny’s willingness to stay behind to work on the copy. Her two young assistants in the art department had other plans for the evening and although she could have pulled rank and insisted they work late, she let them go. She could finish up the artwork on Monday morning. The storyboards for the television ad only needed a few extra scenes.

  She took another swallow of her drink. It was in danger of going flat from the heat of her hand. The beer on tap was never very good in here anyway and she wished she had ordered a bottled lager. Her eyes wandered around the room.

  Six months gone and she still looked for Trish everywhere—on the street, in shops, on buses and the Tube—and sometimes thought she glimpsed that tantalising streak of gold. She couldn’t explain this obsession to anyone, let alone herself. They’d had fun while it lasted, but in the end there was the usual issue. Trish did the taking, enjoying what Dani gave her, but she couldn’t give Dani the satisfaction she needed. The start of the relationship was filled with constant excitement, discovering the many ways she could please her new lover. But when Dani let her know what she desired, Trish turned away, couldn’t face her, and wouldn’t even discuss it.

  “Hey, Dani!” She looked down at the girl in front of her and smiled in recognition. It was impossible to be heard without shouting, so she didn’t waste words, just pulled the smiling face towards her own and kissed it full on the mouth. Dani could feel the heat of the other woman’s crotch through her jeans as she pressed her leg between willing thighs.

  “So where have you been, Sal?” she breathed into her ear.

  Sal pulled back and stared at Dani. Her eyes tracked down to the front of her jeans, then she looked back up at Dani, eyebrows raised questioningly. Dani shook her head. “Not tonight. Just cruising.” She knew what Sal’s look meant. For years she hadn’t gone to any club without wearing a dildo. It had been her trademark and had gone down well with the femmes at the time. But for as many years now she hadn’t bothered.

  “Can I get you a drink?” she mouthed. Sal nodded and Dani started
to push her way through to the bar.

  Then she saw her.

  Trish was leaning against the wall next to the bar, eyes unfocused, staring into space. Dani couldn’t stop herself; she found herself standing in front of Trish. The six months might never have been. Trish looked tired; Dani just wanted to take her in her arms and tell her how much she loved her. That they could try again. Pure habit moved her to reach out and touch Trish, gently, on the cheek.

  Trish’s face relaxed into a smile briefly before she started shaking her head and saying no. Too late Dani realised she wasn’t saying the word to her. A large hand on her shoulder spun her round and she found herself face-to-face with a grim-looking dyke wearing a studded leather vest. She only caught a glimpse of one of the tattoos on the large arm as it swung out and caught her on the side of the head.

  Dani didn’t know how many times she was hit. She heard Trish pleading with her attacker to stop before she passed out.

  When she came to she was sitting on the pavement outside the bar with her head between her knees. And she was alone. With some difficulty, she stood and steadied herself on a meter. About all a parking meter in central London is good for these days.

  Several minutes passed before a taxi appeared. With the state she was in, she was surprised when it stopped. The driver even asked which hospital she wanted to go to. She shook her head and gave him her address. During the journey across town, she closed her eyes and tried to block out the various pain points on her face and the ones spreading through her torso.

  “You should get that looked at, love,” he said, offering more sympathy while she eased herself out of the seat. She thanked him and said she knew a few nurses. Dani stumbled up to her door, dug her keys out of her jacket pocket, and let herself into the dark hallway.

  †

  Penny sat on the edge of the bed lacing up her trainers. Astrid stood by the door glaring at her. She was already dressed and ready to leave.

  “Look, Pen, it’s not our problem.”

  “Yes, it is. Mine anyway. I left her there.”

  “What you were doing there is what I’d like to know.”

  “We’ve been through all that. I was only keeping Dani company.”

  “She’s old enough to go into places like that on her own.”

  “Yeah.” Penny stood and picked her jacket off the chair where she’d abandoned it only a few hours earlier. “I’m sorry, love,” she said, knowing no amount of saying sorry could make amends. “You don’t have to come. I just feel responsible for Dani, having left her there,” she finished lamely at the stony look on Astrid’s clear, finely chiselled features.

  “Right!” Astrid exploded, predictably. Penny didn’t even flinch; she just stood looking down at her shoes waiting for the inevitable tirade. “She’s over thirty. She makes more money in a week than you make in a year, yet you’re responsible because her life’s a fucking mess! I didn’t realise you wanted to be a social worker.”

  Penny started for the door. She made her living as a copywriter, writing words for other people to use, but sometimes she couldn’t find words for herself. She couldn’t expect Astrid to feel ecstatic about her friendship with Dani right now. They had been on the verge of drifting off to sleep when Dani phoned. At first, she thought it was a drunken prank. She could barely hear what Dani was saying. Eventually she worked out that Dani wanted her to go to the chemist for her. And she wasn’t mumbling because she was drunk.

  Finding a place to park on Dani’s street wasn’t easy. Finally, Penny decided to take a risk and park in a “permit holders only” spot. They walked along the road to Dani’s house. It was mid-row in a tall terrace backing onto the river. Penny never ceased to be amazed that Dani lived in such an upmarket part of London; that she owned this expensive pile of bricks and mortar in an area where Penny couldn’t have rented a studio flat, even sharing. Most people at the agency thought Dani lived in a squat or a cardboard box from the way she dressed and her general attitude to the commercial world.

  Dani had left the door on the latch. Penny pushed it open and walked in, followed closely by Astrid who clutched the bag of bandages and pills.

  “Dani,” called Penny. A light was on in the room at the back of the house. Penny went down the hall and found Dani slumped in an armchair facing the open french windows. It was a fresh night with a breeze coming off the river. Penny shivered, in spite of her fleece-lined leather jacket. “Dani,” she said again, and walked around the furniture to face her.

  “Oh shit!” She dropped to her knees in front of Dani’s chair.

  “Might as well be at work.” Astrid put down her paper bag and went into the kitchen. Penny could hear her filling the kettle, still muttering about Friday nights in A&E.

  Dani opened her eyes, as far as she could, squinting at Penny. Dried blood caked her nose, lips, and chin. Astrid returned with a bowl of hot water and sent Penny off to make an ice pack with as many ice cubes as she could find.

  An hour later, with Dani cleaned up as much as possible and laid out in bed asleep, Penny and Astrid sat together in the sitting room.

  “I’d better stay with her.”

  Astrid sipped the coffee she’d made and regarded her lover thoughtfully. “Why do you always think the worst of me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you think I’m going to abandon you, go home to the comfort of my own bed, just because I don’t like Dani. Do you think I’ll really leave you here in this state?”

  “I’m not in a state.”

  “No, of course not.”

  They sat in silence for a bit. Astrid broke it saying, “Why does she do it?”

  “Do what? I don’t think she wanted to get beaten to a pulp.”

  “She must have done something. Whoever did this to her wanted to hurt her, badly. I know she attracts fights. She might as well have ‘hit me’ written on her forehead. I’ve seen her in action, remember?”

  Penny remembered. The incident Astrid had witnessed had been at a party, at another friend’s house. “That was different. And it wasn’t her fault.”

  “It never is.” Astrid put her empty mug on the table. “But believe me, every time she sets foot outside the house wearing black leather gear, people will assume she’s itching for a fight. Look, Pen, those bruises on her ribs, I’m surprised she hasn’t got any broken ones. She was obviously kicked after she’d gone down, a number of times, savagely. Maybe she just picked a fight with the wrong person, or several people.”

  Penny closed her eyes. She still felt sick. She had almost got used to Dani’s battered face, after Astrid had cleaned the blood off. When they undressed her to put her to bed, the bruises on her body had come as a second shock to Penny. She also had hand-shaped marks on her upper arms; Astrid suggested she’d been held while someone used her face for a punch bag. That was when Penny had rushed to the bathroom and vomited.

  “But why? Who would want to do this to her? And why didn’t anyone stop it happening?”

  “Things like that can happen quickly. People are generally slow to react to situations where they might put themselves at risk.” Astrid spoke with the confidence of an experienced paramedic. “Especially in a bar; especially, perhaps, in that particular bar. Anyway, we’ll have to wait until she regains consciousness and can tell us about it. Come on. Let’s go and crash in the spare bedroom. I take it there is one.”

  Penny slept fitfully and got up several times to check on Dani. The second time she returned to bed, Astrid was awake. She put her arms around her and they held on to each other until they both fell asleep again. But it wasn’t a restful night. Astrid had to work a shift on Saturday. She left at six thirty, taking the car so she could get washed and changed. She promised to bring Penny a change of clothes when she returned.

  †

  Dani regained consciousness and immediately wished she hadn’t. Every part of her body hurt; parts she didn’t even know existed. After a few moments she established that she was in he
r own bed, alone.

  She tried to sit, groaned and fell back. She didn’t understand why her face hurt, along with her upper arms and ribs. Her left eye wouldn’t open and the right one hardly at all. Just enough to know it was daylight. Then she heard a voice above her.

  “Dani? Can you hear me?”

  It was, she realised with relief, Penny.

  “Yes.” At least that was the sound she tried to make. Her lips felt swollen and she wasn’t sure if she moved them.

  “It’s okay. Don’t try to say anything. You don’t look as bad as you did last night. The swelling’s gone down a lot. And Astrid says that by tomorrow you’ll look almost normal.” Dani could hear the catch in Penny’s throat. “Except for the black eyes and a few other bruises. She says you’re lucky not to have broken anything. Your ribs are pretty badly bruised, but I suppose you can feel that.”

  Dani digested this information with her right eye closed. She tried again to open it; she could just make out Penny’s shape against the light from the window.

  “I’m sorry, Dani. I shouldn’t have left you there.”

  “Where?” she managed to croak.

  “At that bar.”

  Images flashed through her mind: Sal in heat; seeing the face that had haunted her dreams. “Trish!”

  “Trish? You saw Trish? Is that what this is all about?”

  “Mm.”

  “Did you talk to her?”

  “No.”

  “So what happened?”

  “Reached out. Only…wanted…hold…” Her whole body convulsed. Christ, the pain! Penny held her hand. She could feel her own tears, but she didn’t really know who she was crying for.